Loving On Purpose

Loving on purpose is not confined to your marriage. In fact, when you love on purpose with your spouse, you develop the habit of reaching out in the most positive way to others. Let me give you an example.  My parents both died in the last 5 years. Dad died first and his death hit me very hard. It was not unexpected or too soon and he was ready, but I think of him every day. When the first parent dies much of your grief or sense of loss is mitigated by caring for your last parent, but when they go, and you become an orphan, then you have no outlet for your sadness.   Mom was ready to go. She did not fade away because Dad died, her life long outlook was to turn the page quickly to find out what was on the other side. There may have been a health issue involved in her death, but she was not interested in finding out, she was ready for the next adventure. One of the most barbaric rules we have is identifying the body. Mom died In the hospital and was transported to the funeral home where I had to identify her the next morning. There was no preparation of her remains as she was to be cremated. I was not prepared for the wizened up, skin on bones, fluid drained visage that was presented to me. More than 2 years later this is still the image I have.   My sister and I were reminiscing last month at one of our frequent get togethers and I mentioned this lasting image to her.  Last weekend we were together again and she said "I have been thinking about our last conversation about mom and I was sad that that was your memory of her. You need to remember your relationship with Mom was completely different from the rest of us. She respected you and listened to you and you were able to help her in ways that we could not. When dad died, we were all focused on what to do next. You sat with Mom and put your arms around her. Her facial expression changed to one of complete peace, because she knew she would be okay with you by her side.  That is the image of her you should remember."    Brothers and sisters are supposed to love each other.  They never really love each other until they reach out when they have nothing to gain. When they spend some of their time thinking of a way to make your life better, that is loving on purpose. When is the next time you will love someone on purpose?